Staying in the room
Sunset illuminates the clouds as seen from Woodstock’s East End on Monday afternoon. (Gareth Henderson Photo)
It can be tempting to avoid uncomfortable, challenging circumstances, but some of the most important moments in life require the opposite reaction, especially when the stakes are high.
Such was the case when the Problem Solvers Caucus met online the night after the U.S. Capitol riot, to better understand each other’s reactions to the events of Jan. 6 and lay some groundwork for future progress. Amid tension and high emotions, they "stayed in the room", as U.S. Rep. Tom Reed (R-NY) put it during a recent discussion with fellow caucus co-chair U.S. Rep. Josh Gottheimer (D-NJ), led by the Cornell Institute of Politics and Global Affairs.
To hear that phrase from someone working at the heart of the leadership of our democracy, during such times, was deeply impactful. That’s because we don’t often hear about people “staying in the room.” From the halls of Congress, to family gatherings, we’ve often heard about people leaving political discussions, or not wanting to have them at all. But the fact is, constructive dialogue is critical to building the kind of progress our nation needs.
To achieve that, we have to do that work from a sense of empathy - a key part of that three-hour Jan. 7 meeting the Problem Solvers held. Empathy is a building block for progress, even in the most tense of circumstances. It naturally creates a sense of genuine caring, which leads to the most important aspect of doing meaningful work with those who disagree with us: love. Starting with an empathetic approach encourages others to remain in the discussion. For that reason, we must strive to reflect the innate lovingkindness we each have within ourselves. Just as people can sense hate or dislike, they can sense love as well. Simply put, that approach — in Congress and in our own communities — is how we reverse this pattern of political vitriol in our country.
As civil rights leader Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. powerfully said, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” King had seen, first-hand, the impact of both kinds of thought. Through his work, he knew which approach was more powerful.
In times of strife and fear, love is sometimes cast as one of the weaker solutions to daunting problems. But that’s a false notion, and one that would hamper progress. The fact is, love is a close cousin of courage. Courage is what it takes to peacefully reach out to someone the world would call an enemy, show empathy, and work with them in a genuine, compassionate way.
This is not to say building these bridges is anything close to easy. Months of difficult discussions, hard work, successes and frustrations led to the latest COVID-19 relief bill spearheaded by the Problem Solvers Caucus. There will be roadblocks that call for tough negotiations and creative solutions. But if we are to be creative — and this time certainly calls for that — we must empower this work through compassion and love. We must remain in the struggle, and not be afraid of discussing differences. Because of the vital nature of this work, we must persist alongside our brothers and sisters. We must stay in the room.
— Gareth Henderson
